I know it’s hard. I’ve been anointed a few times with the uncomfortable feeling from a broken heart. And just in time for you to hate cliches’ even more, you hear them from family and friends who mean you well but like anything else, the experience is “relative” including pain. Yes, a broken heart is painful.
Drusato here on the morning check-in. And today I need to chime in about this little thing called “a broken heart” and how do we recover.
My advice, to say the least, is completely anecdotal but I must admit observation is key as it helps to address this perpetual male problem. Recovery.
As a man vouching for most men out there, men want to fall in love with the purest of intentions. Yet things happen and people change, another natural reminder we fail to accept.
Broken hearts just don’t happen and yes I understand it’s difficult at times to break away from the spell, and view yourself from an out of body experience. Though as much as it hurts you have to view the signs. I say love yes. View their actions even more. Become an observationist practitioner.
But it’s too late. Crushed you remain. No fault of yours because we’ve been fed a narrative regarding the emotions behind falling in love, the rewards, the lovemaking, the musical soundtrack involved which led to the moment and the list goes on.
In love merely suggests “all of you” is committed contingent upon…NOTHING. Financial issues? Doesn’t matter you’re in love. Family issues? But you’re in love. Nothing can seem to pull you away from a magnetic pull holding what you hope to be electrifying results.
When I went through my “turning point” I blamed myself and believed excuses and fictitious truths though at first seemed logical but due to my cloud of rapture, it was evident I wasn’t thinking clearly.
When there’s a break-up someone in the relationship isn’t pulling their “fair share”. As we would like to believe this change isn’t drastic, but subtle. Normally something has entered in the fray which caused the once united emotion to veer to an unknown, unfamiliar but desirable destination. Is it risky? Yes but emotions (dangerous, thrill) for another it’s too great to reject. Something seeped into the cracks. But look, don’t waste your time thinking about it, because it will cause bewilderment and a search mission to find out what occurred.
So the answer to the title? Well, firstly you can recover by denying the overall idea to fall in love. Pretty easy.
But in all seriousness, you have to view the signs and a person’s habits. But you won’t because you feel completely enamoured by beauty It has seemingly shot your masculinity into a liquid form. Liquified you will now find it manoeuvring to the nearest sewer. In all honesty, if this is the cause, lust has led your mind, loins and more importantly your purpose astray.
For those Men who rarely fall in this trap (be honest); Why do you think women cause most breakups? She has mentioned to you the change and breaks in your patterns. In other words, she has issued a warning. No? She has perhaps considered counselling or simply a getaway and talk a few things out. No? But as a man sometimes we feel (most times even) once we fall in love and our partner has admitted the same by way of her undeniable word and action we automatically think, I’ve found my emotional treasure.
Remember love needs continued nurturement in order for “it” to flourish accordingly. Call it whatever you want “attention”, sharing time or mentally stimulating conversation. For the ones who have yet to be initiated, I challenge you to view “in love” as an experience.
News flash! As people grow they naturally grow apart. The reasons behind it although painful is irrelevant. As an adult, a broken heart is one of the few traumatic experiences we all go through. And this is what makes life great. The inconsistencies and topsy turvy of it all. The drudgery of life and its personal testimonies you carry waiting for those who seem eager to hear. I view it as “teachable moments”. Quite easy to say when I’m no longer caught off guard by a chemical reaction.
I impart to your recovery from a “broken heart” starts by logically taking the step back connecting the dots. Acknowledge your mistakes with the question in mind. Was it actually love? Or another deeply rooted feelings (lust or loneliness).
Now as you begin to pull back the layers on a relationship thought everlasting, measure where you compromised. Evaluate its’ worthiness or frivolousness. Did you compromise for the flesh? Was the benefit you experienced together fair or one-sided? Did any close friend and family members hint to the possibility this person may not be the right fit for you?
If your answers were mostly affirmative. Great!
Its the ripe time to crumple all these “shaking my head” moments, compost them; now throw away that huge colossal of regret.
Interesting enough if you noticed I haven’t including anything about putting all your energy into something you love. Maybe work on a goal. I say become the best version of you by hitting the gym. I would view these as givens actually. Recovery grants an opportunity to smell the proverbial coffee beans. Remove all stench.
Through the logical thinking process, the brokenhearted -recovery period should be a time to forge forward strongly. In no shape or form should you yearn to become a better individual by way of revenge or “I will show them what they’re missing.” Never. It’s never about them. But rather use the time wisely to participate in those things which were temporarily shelved. Play “catch up” if you will for those things you dearly love. Devote yourself to you. For every wasted year give “you” 6 months to exceptional fortitude. Call it your personal punishment for not heeding the signs, as you caved to the visual pleasures the eyes couldn’t reject, leaving logic a doomed bystander. It truly wasn’t a waste of time. In time you will realize a broken heart” created new standards and a stained glass you can now peer from tentatively.
I thank you for reading. Please comment with an opinion regarding any of our posts or share if you think it may help another. And remember anything emotions based, feel free to visit Versuasions.com to convey the right message.