Image for Now or Never

At Versuasions I promised to catalog the experiences of men and women personally known. It is our job to document all things emotions as we continue to spread human connection by way of how we convey and what we say with our platform. We encourage you to comment, share and advise based on the scenario below. Remember your 10Core Strong.

So a man meets a woman. One who considers herself “grown”. The grown hints to time for games and adolescent manipulation tactics are a thing of the past. He watches her from afar and admires the method she administers those she cares for. Her smile and soothing voice bring attention to a time where mom and dad warned you about the trap, The hypnotic external features. “Don’t be fooled, beauty is ONLY skin deep” they would say. So what happens when external beauty is just as mesmerizing as her personality? Mom and Dad didn’t warn us about that now did they? Yet despite all these qualities, he senses someone who has had a past filled with disappointments, deceptions, and unnecessary drama. Because he’s convinced the experience he’s gained over the years will demonstrate the correct manner to treat a woman. The decision to “show and proof” is made.

Show by way of giving the right attention through thoughtful gestures may very well do the trick. Prove? Well if you haven’t heard woman love the word action.  It provides solace or evidence to the mind he is a man with conviction. Why though?

Because the “checklist he concocted over the years (a list comprised of maybe 5 qualities) fall in line with what to look for; what he’s willing to work with.  Do remember everyone has a flaw or two. She seems to have integrity. During initial conversations, he finds out what she likes intimately moreover gain a glimpse of her past hurt and sorrows. She goes on to disclose the type of man she wants which is music to his ears. It’s now time to separate just another guy to a thoughtful man who knows what he wants and will do what it takes to gain her mind, body, and soul. The mature man now has all the ammo needed to approach this woman from another level. It’s his job to create a standard by which she can experience the potential behind a man ready to give love unconditionally. The desire now exists to mold her heart, etch his name all over it is believed there will be no other. Without question, though he feels a sense of vulnerability it’s quite fine because they both are adults, not to mention she did say she’s ready for a real man. Now, what if he does these “creative” thoughtful things and its not reciprocated? What if the “I’m ready to receive” was just that, words spoken to mean the total opposite. Does a man reserve “giving” his all for the sake of “it’s a waste of time”?

Let’s carry on.

Time has passed and he decides to focus on his dreams. To many bitterness would be justified because he did give it his all.  But bitterness isn’t apart of the vocabulary. Transmutation is. Transforming any sense of so-called bitterness to a positive and valuable lesson. He feels very confident it ended on good terms after all he displayed remarkable restraint (giving up) as there was no evidence of animosity.

The dating scene has become rather interesting. Woman of different shades appears providing a genuine learning experience. Captivating external beauty is evident with exquisite curves yet personality is an absent quality not to mention the social media fixation.

Out of the blue, he receives a text message which turns out to be the young lady from his past. Time has flown by and she seems to have grown immensely over the years. The verdict from trusted colleagues and friends of both genders frown on the idea of “maybe.” They say much effort was expended for what? Do you want this to happen again? She didn’t appreciate you before just let it go! “You were having fun before it was her loss.” Or the famous and infamous response. “Never look back.” But despite their compassion time has a way of changing someone. Sex again comes into the mix so the compatibility is still there. Against the wishes, he decides to embark upon another campaign to capture her heart. But in passing, she says she is “guarded”. Although she knows your intentions. What does he do?

Does he take a huge step back and void the last gesture to win her for good? Is it a sign that considering a past, one with no animosity between the two shouldn’t she trust him unequivocally? Can the planned gesture, the grand gesture of them all liquidate her past? Will his creative wants with her at mind be enough currency? Is it all for naught? Is it all a game?

My response to this individual would be nothing is needed for he has already shown his worth. It is her job to step up to the plate in the meantime continue to enjoy life and take it for a grain of salt. But if he insists to have the conversation once again do so to determine her intentions as well as outline yours. Look her into her eyes and allow her to see your ardent sincerity. Remember what woman wouldn’t globally want a creative, thoughtful man who would take the time to bring about a new experience? Take her out of her element or comfort zone and show her security. Advise her it isn’t so much the physical but the mental as well as the interior that most men will consider after years of sowing their oats. Get her to talk about her desires. Reassure her. And if she is non-responsive, respect her and gracefully bow out with a smile realizing you have done more than most. So-called gestures imagined for her would be greatly appreciated by whomever right?  Maybe she knows this maybe not. He cannot possibly know what’s in her heart and mind, therefore, time wasted to determine her thoughts, is simply wasted energy. Smile about this growth. Although irrelevant she will remember you. A job well done.


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