Men and women become friends in much the same way that men become friends with other men and women with other women -– friendships often arise quite naturally out of shared life experiences. Boys and girls can be friends when they are attending the same schools, and many male and female coworkers also share close, yet non-sexual friendships. People who play on the same sports teams or share other hobbies may also become close without gender being a factor.

Feeling Threatened

A girlfriend who has never encountered a situation where a male has a female best friend can be taken aback simply because it is an unfamiliar situation.” She’ll most likely move from “taken aback” to concerned, and rightfully so, should her partner be less than open about the situation. If he starts acting secretive around her, and/or flirtatious around his friend, either action can be seen as a serious red flag. Things get especially tricky if the friend was ever, at any point in the past, a romantic partner, as in such a case. Another factor contributing to friction surrounding same-sex friendships is if the girlfriend doesn’t feel secure in her relationship apart from any perceived threat posed by the friend. If she and her boyfriend aren’t rock solid to begin with, she’s likely to feel threatened and jealous by the thought of her boyfriend sharing a close friendship with another woman.

Coping with your BF female bestie

If a woman find herself in a situation where it’s her boyfriend who has a best friend who’s not just one of the guys, she shouldn’t beat herself up if it makes her feel uncomfortable, since this is only natural. Instead, what she should do is self-reflect about any internal fears she has that are not well-founded. If her boyfriend is generally an honest, up-front guy and he’s given her every reason to believe he genuinely cares about her, then chances are he’s not interested in hooking up with his gal pal. If, on the other hand you find that your “fears are based in red flag issues such as the boyfriend being secretive or having a history of betrayal,” in that case, she cautions, “it’s important to take the issues seriously.” Advice is to have a straightforward, open conversation with the boyfriend.

If he truly is just friends with this person and committed to you, clearing the air may enable the two of you to work things out and emerge all the stronger for it.

Team Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert