There are many ways to expel the idea of “trust issues” from both genders. Today we take a look at a scenario brought to our attention.
How to eliminate trust issues. So you meet someone at a public event. Visually you access the situation like a military C.O and a smirk sits on your face.
The attraction is there and it’s reciprocated because she has the same smirk but at a different angle. Initial attraction leads to a number exchange. Composed at first glance, but internally your blood boils (burning any Vampire who dares taste) you request that she writes it on a “piece of paper” as she laughs knowing you have your handsomely paid cheaply made smartphone available. But little does she know the entire experience from admiring her stunning beauty to the shared smirk to exchanging numbers, it’s all apart of the journey. A journey to savor.
“Yes! A number received and she has nice handwriting. Oh look she even drew a line under her name and number.” Proudly you say to self. Logically you process any information that gives the signal of something real. “She underlined her name and number this must be a deeper connection here.”
Don’t jump the gun though, although we know something underlined gives the impression of importance. Before taking two steps back and turning around like a marine “half right face”, you walk away calmly even though your emotions want you to jump in the air and click your heels with glee. “Calm down Dorothy you need to find out how she thinks.”The little angel on the shoulder screams.
The internet, an enormous mechanism comprised with anecdotal information, advice and the newly minted “fake news” made “infamous” by an orange haired hen who processes education values like the Warner Brothers character “Foghorn”. Children look it up, please!
You know good and damn well calling her days later is for the bashful and faint-hearted. BUCKETS you say but at least that’s what it sounds like as the B replaces the F. That’s how cold it is on this morning jog. The decision is made to call her now “Just as soon as I get home.” And you do. The conversation lasts a personal record for 4 hours and all but sex has been the topic of discussion. Quite honestly you could care less because the discussion was pretty intriguing. Except for one thing. Bombshell alert. She has trust issues.
This was an admission on her own. The conversation comes to an end hoping to speak to her real soon. And you sit back logically reliving the past 4 hours of intrigue. She provides ample reasons why the mistrust and you make a self-pledge to do what you can to eradicate her past. But how? How do you overcome past trust issues?
I will gladly tell you how therefore we need to address the transparent truth.
Women are emotional creatures. Anything nature creates by the potency of the SUN can never generate the optical perfection of a woman. She receives messages through the years from the family with marriage and relationships at bay. In so doing she meets someone who may not be up to her standard but she is willing to work with him. The tradeoff is her presence and then eventually his deceitfulness. Even though she desperately wants to leave she can’t because now, as a way to hold her in a position he deems, a beautiful child is involved.
It wasn’t apart of the equation but she has morals. Because he sees himself as a father now whereby she is clearly in a hyper-emotional state, she hangs on his every word thinking its the gospel. He does his thing while her dreams are deferred to another artificial reality. Depression sets in along with regret, remorse and a yearning for time travel. Now a decisions has to be made. Either she copes and does the best she can under the current circumstances or continue to blame herself. In addition, she vows to have an ironclad “guard up” and place a worthy man through the ringer to earn her trust.
We must realize woman calculate everything and the slightest element (inconsistency) WILL prolong her feeling comfortable. Give her time to think while openly have a discussion about her desires and dreams. Challenge her to think of her past as a necessary method, means to epic growth. Encourage her overall humane development despite her past. Be very forthcoming to mention your intentions by demonstrating the difference between what her past saw and felt, and what an intentional reality looks like together promising to guard her heart. Study her men. Allow “wow” to become an involuntary word she utters often. Do those small things for her and what’s important tell her the exact reasons why. Touch her where she has never been touched, spiritually, mentally and physically. And do take your time during each step. Agree to disagree with her for this will cement within that you’re a different individual without secret motives.
Do not buy her gifts until you’ve earned her trust. This is a problem for men who are too eager. Listen to her insecurities and show her how they are hidden strengths. And finally, because she has become independent for a long time, help to aid her to remember nurturing is her finest quality, as you continue to embody dominant, assertive behavior she has wanted. Be her foundation as you internalize her past into strength and a phrase she should hear from you. Never will you hurt again.