This year 2019 started off on a somber note. I was fortunate to attend the funeral of a great friend. A loveable guy who had the most contagious smile and an indescribable flamboyant laugh. The occasion was filled with dynamic remembrance of a departed friend, in addition, home to a celebratory atmosphere witnessed by all ages, races, and faces who haven’t seen each other in years. Rest in Peace friend.
To my joyous surprise, I myself was amazed a city that I’ve left for so long, faces after all this time still remained recognizable.
I also recall a friend of mine enthralled with one particular individual among the crowd. She was slender, Godiva chocolate gorgeous and above average in height, yet the longer the stare the faster our recollection of her and her crew. According to him and his exterior vanity for a woman, her physical features were obviously tantalizing considering his decades-long sabbatical from a city he loves (Sincerely he demonstrated obnoxious glee).
While he was in a trance filled with nostalgic memories of childhood indiscretion, my conversation couldn’t do anything to veer his gaze from this specimen, clearly, I was unbeknownst to his eagerness to say something. Captivated it seems his emotions triggered a response to reacquaint. As an observation myself, his tone and confidence matched her smirkish squirmer as if to say by way of body language, “haven’t seen you in a long time”.
I watched numbers exchange as I grinned reminiscing her diva-like persona circa 1989. Fast forward a month. He recently called me to provide his dramatic testimony and almost in unison I asked and he responded, What’s up? “Does she think she’s still that much older than you? A few seconds of silence broke the truth of his query as I tried to intercept his thoughts to her rationale.
He gave me the spiel. Not a blah blah blah spiel because I was interested but more like a yada yada yada . Yup “I was waiting in vain” for the punchline.
“She seems like a good girl, but why is she single.” Bingo. Cracking my knuckles waiting to respond I let him have it. As a man reaches a certain age his testosterone, ferociousness, and velocity of his “masculinity depart. And as it departs his tolerance level mimics the same spacious behavior, decreasing and dripping like a connected IV bag. The fervor he once had to challenge the cute feisty idiosyncrasies is no longer present.
I continued. Many women of a certain elk have become one with shaming tactics, not to mention the unrealistic views as to how men should conduct themselves. Those vanity filled tenants once held, which stifled probabilities, possibilities and eventual realities stuck like velcro. The “I’m older than you” is a frivolous attempt to exude power and conceal any notion of interest.
Don’t fall for it. She wants to see if you will buckle or respond in kind the b.s she has slung your way. Don’t be too predictable. Naturally, it would appear she is used to a particular kind of man. So the “much older than you” could also mean she’s tired of dealing with grown men who appear young, deflecting any load of responsibility. Men need to think objectively when dealing with a woman, with a need to observe all sides of her spectrum.
“I am older than you” reeks of I have more experience, insight and thus independence has been granted because of that very same experience.
True to past disappointments she now donned the independent moniker but deep down she yearns to be dependent upon a man who will accept his role as a potential provider. Oddly enough without shaming tactics. She doesn’t want to admit she needs you and wants to be just as dependent, though societal pressure will scold her for coming to this conclusion. So the “I’m older than you” doesn’t hold weight.
Then again. I could be wrong.