Some time ago I remember a friend of mine detailing his experience with a girlfriend. The man was in bad shape. In a time of need, as a friend you do what you can to console. You affirm their worth.
You make claims that you understand even if you may never grapple the mindset it takes an individual to pour out such emotion. At the end of the day the hope is to maneuver my colleagues’ mindset from inferiority to a place “it is what it is.” Or taking a page from a previous article. “Indifference.” His feelings caught in distraught traveled down disbelief rabbit hole, shuffled between dismay and anger and then shot through like a meteorite to motivation. I gotta tell you what a remarkable set of circumstances this about face was.
Months later I caught up with my comrade and jovially made a remark as a way to test his current mindset. Why did I do that? I’ve never seen a person’s face change from happy to furious within a matter of moments.
It was like one of those animated emojis changing facial expressions, colors and gestures within seconds. Obviously I had struck a nerve. Not intentional of course. Or was it? “Hey man how’ve you been these days? Has she called you yet”?
Let’s just say his response had words that began with the first 7 letters in the alphabet. Such residual emotions you think?
After his tirad I, perhaps the voice of reason shrugged it off and said “You have to understand Female Nature.” The puzzled look on his face was a “visual” “HUH”? As the anticipated inquisition began, I made it painstakingly aware that I’ve been there before. “Until you understand the game.” I explained to him that we have to liken everything to a big game or smoke and mirrors. Kind of like the finance game. There’s the public side to debt and the private side. You have a depiction here and there until you gain experience, and come to your own conclusions. Yup dealing with members of any sex actually.
In this case women. In a nutshell this is what was shared. I won’t generalize for those who feel I have to mention this here, but most women’s emotions fluctuate like the sea level off the coast of Miami Beach. Better visual? Well picture an erratic ECG machine searching for voltage from a human heart.
Now that he was in a better state I went on to tell him he approached the situation incorrectly. “She made the decision and you compounded her emotional state by begging and gravelling.”
I continued. It may work in Hollywood as the narrative is controlled in order to sell tickets, dominate streaming numbers or inflate Nielsen rating scores. In the real word. In a free society not dominated by religion or ancient folklore, women should be treated like human beings and not this damsel in distress ideal Hollywood or Bollywood pontificates. It’s weak behavior ultimately giving rise to some form of manipulation either intentionally or not.
She won’t tell you this. But her nature will not agree with the overwhelming niceties you’ve figured to be the best way to highlight your unyielding obsession for her. Will she openly declare or suggest any of this to you? Maybe? Most likely not. She’s a human being just like you free to make mistakes. Free to select which situations will broaden her sense of nature, love and or sisterhood. Your obsession just complicates things and she can’t find a nice way to articulate it. Thus it frustrates her until she’s had enough and before long her bravery aligns with timing to say what she really feels. “We need a break, space or time apart” really means you’ve become needy. Treat her like a functioning adult one you respect but don’t allow physical beauty to commandeer your ability to use common sense.
For all the men out there going through something similar. Admire her. Respect her. Treat her just as well and fair as reciprocation dictates. And for heavens please do not obsess over another human being who simply has the curves, the physical “talent” to create fantasies of stupendous dreams and orgasmic pleasures.
Drusato out. Team Versuasions…. More on Female nature to come.