When a loved one passes away unexpectedly, the grieving process changes drastically. Although the grieving process is unique for everyone, a sudden loss does not allow the bereaved to properly prepare to enter this process. No amount of time will ever be enough with the loved one, and losing them unexpectedly may cause overwhelming feelings such as shock, disbelief, sadness, and anger to name just a few.

In the case where they were a witness to the death of their loved one, it may be important for the person to be able to tell the story of the event in detail. This may be done with a professional person— a psychologist or counsellor – or with a sympathetic friend. It may be important not to gloss over the details of the event, particularly if the death is persistently occupying the bereaved person’s mind. It may be that they will need to go over the event, perhaps trying to understand what they saw, how it unfolded, the cause of the death, where it occurred, who was present and who helped. It is important not to rush the person and always let them know that they don’t have to talk if they don’t want to. Sometimes revisiting these memories can be retraumatising, so ensuring the person feels safe is essential.

An added burden in the case of sudden deaths can be the activity of the media. This is often very intrusive, making it impossible to find private time and space to deal with the emotional impact of the loss.

Sometimes people part in the morning, and never see their loved ones alive at the end of the day. Their world changes in those few short hours, and they are not prepared for the range of huge adjustments they need, and are expected, to make.

What is important in dealing with a sudden or unexpected death is the ability to feel and express grief which is the normal response to loss of any kind. It takes time and patience to find a way to make sense of the event, and its impact on your life.

A bereaved person and their family and friends need to recognise that emotional adjustment to a sudden or unexpected loss is not a short process. Be patient, and seek help when you need it.

You might swing between feeling OK to being unable to get up off the couch. Extreme changes in feelings are to be expected. Try taking each half-hour as it comes. Breaking the day down like this can help to make it more bearable and you can tune in to what you need for yourself throughout the day.

Something that is so important, yet so hard to do when your mind is racing, especially as there is often a lot to organise after someone dies. Most things can wait. If your body sends you signals to rest, listen. We live in a culture that favours busyness, but if staying in bed for the day is what you need then that is OK.

f you have people in your life, they are likely to want to gather around and keep you company at such a difficult time. If you would like some space, however, ask for it.

The experience of grief after a sudden death is overwhelming and you will likely need time alone to process what has happened. It’s important to advocate for your needs and do what feels right for you over what might make others feel useful.

Team Versuasion India