Well. Forgiveness is must if you want to be at peace with yourself. To put it in simple words, the other person simply don’t care at all. So if you keep the anger boiling inside you, it will be you only who will get hurt the most. So forgive anyone for anything even if you don’t get a ‘Sorry’ for that. Simply forgive and move on.

But forgiveness does not mean that you must forget everything they does. Gone are the days, when people used to truly realise their mistakes and want to mend up the issue. If today you forget everything they does, they definitely take you for granted as if they own you. So dear, Never ever forget anything wrong being done to you by anyone.. It will save you only the next time they try to do the same to you.

At some point in our lives, we have all struggled with the wrongs or perceived wrongs that others have done to us. And being unable to forgive someone is not without its costs. The emotional pain associated with such incidents can severely limit our ability to get on with our lives and plan for the future. Our own research has revealed that the act of forgiveness itself can lead us to forget the offence in question. Although the exact relationship between forgiveness and forgetting remains unclear, one possibility is that forgiveness may lower the tendency to ruminate or to constantly think about a particular offence. Rumination typically involves looking inwards and thinking negatively.

The fact that forgiveness can influence our ability to forget details about an offence is of particular interest in view of the potential associated health benefits. Indeed, a whole new line of enquiry has begun to reveal numerous benefits for a forgiving individual. These include reduced risk of heart attack, reduced blood pressure and pain and improved cholesterol and sleep. There are also associations with lower levels of depression, hostility, anger, paranoia and inferiority. The ability to forget painful memories may provide an effective coping strategy which allows people to move on and not get stuck in the past. We hope that further studies in this new field of research will eventually lead to powerful therapeutic tools. In short, the old adage that we should forgive and forget has far more potential value than we could ever have imagined.

I always believed that forgiving went hand in hand with forgetting. I believed that when we forgave someone for their mistakes—or ourselves for our failings—we freed ourselves to move on with a clean slate. Our relationships blossomed, we felt good about ourselves, and we left the ashes of the past where they belonged. The reality is that we’re human. We desire to be good—but we’re also curtailed by an overriding need to survive that’s sometimes beneficial, but more often misguided. Staying aware of our inherent paradox while keeping faith in our higher intentions is a fine balancing act that takes more than a clean sweep of the past.

If the relationship is important to you—and this includes your relationship with yourself—and the apology is sincere, it’s wise to both forgive and forget. Perhaps a friend or family member falsely accused you of something, your child acted impulsively and let you down, or your partner had a weak moment and wronged you. Perhaps you gave in to your urges or anger and acted in a way that you now regret. Difficult as it may be, try to see yourself/the other person as human and fallible, and if the apology is sincere with a plan of how to avoid a similar situation in the future, focus instead on how to rebuild your relationship. However, if the sincere apology is a recurring theme, you may want to seek help for yourself/others to see what may underlie the behaviors that cause you pain.

Team Versuasion – India