We all have that one friend who we vent to about everything. When something good, bad or somewhere in between happens they are the first person we call. Love is a topic that we never fail to discuss with this friend. We obviously need them to know how our significant other either made our day or pissed us off.

Relationships are bound to have problems often, so venting about your love life almost becomes a part of your weekly routine. Your go-to friend becomes unnaturally used to you coming to them to vent about your relationship problems. But unfortunately it’s not always wise to dish to your friends about every little thing that’s happening in your relationship.

Your friends tend to hold grudges.

Your friends love you. So, any time they hear a story of someone doing you wrong they automatically get upset. Usually when you are sharing a story with them you are speaking from an emotional place.

This is never a good thing. It never fails that you will calm down after a while, but your friend will remain mad. Every time they are around your significant other they show open disdain for them because of something that happened months ago that you no longer think about.

This will only weaken your relationship as it will cause growing tension between your friend and lover as the relationship becomes more serious. Hopefully this won’t result in you losing one of these relationships to save the other.

They often times give you the wrong advice.

Taking advice from a friend can be tricky. They always mean well, but because they aren’t in your shoes your friends don’t always give the best advice. Your friend can only speak from their experiences and what they would do in any given situation. Friends can be quick to tell you to curse your partner out, give him the cold shoulder, or simply leave significant other altogether. They sometimes even encourage being unnecessarily petty to see how your significant other will respond.

Doing things like these can make matters worse in terms of your relationship. Your significant other will notice that these behaviors aren’t like you and will become frustrated when trying to figure out the sudden shift in attitude.

They are protective of you, so they can make you believe the worst.

You’re feeling a little suspicious about your significant other’s actions lately. He hasn’t been texting you back as often lately, or maybe he hasn’t been as affectionate. Instead of calming you down, your friends start to bring up possible explanations that only make you freak out more.

Maybe they suggest that he’s cheating, or that he is slowly trying to break up with you. Naturally, your mind is going to take these ideas and run with them. Before you know it, you are telling him about how he is the worst person ever and how you can’t believe he would do something like this to you.

He has no idea where any of this is coming from. Once he finally gets a second to get a word in, he kindly explains to you that his schedule has just been a little more hectic than usual and that he hasn’t been in the best mood due to all the stress.

They gossip and talk about your relationship to other people (it’s true).

Sometimes your friends don’t see the issue with talking to your other close friends about your love life. They figure everyone already knows so maybe together they can help you come up with a solution to your problems. This is when things can get complicated.

Now you’re forced to sit in mini intervention sessions where your friends (and friends of friends) pick apart your relationship. Even though their intentions are all good, having your friends all together in one room trying to give you advice on your relationship just makes things worse. Instead of actually coming up with a reasonable solution to your problems, they just throw out outlandish ideas that would hurt any relationship. Friends tend to feed off each other’s energy, so now you’ll have multiple people with heightened emotions voicing their opinions. Their frustrated and angry state can easily rub off on you, and travel right back to your partner.

They question your decisions.

You just finished venting to your friend, and now they question your decision making. They want to know why you reacted the way you did, or why you didn’t react at all. Your friend is thinking about what they would have done and can’t seem to understand why you wouldn’t think the same way.

Though it isn’t always intentional, questioning your decisions may give your friend a brief moment of power. They are in a position where they can have you second guessing yourself. You are now replaying the situation in your head wondering if you had done things differently how the outcome might have been better.

Your friend isn’t always coming from a bad place, they just don’t understand how you all of a sudden seem to overlook the negative aspects of the relationship. However, it is still pretty sucky to be randomly reminded of your partners shortcomings.

If you didn’t only share the negative aspects of your love life, then your friend wouldn’t be able to reach into their memory bank and bring the past back to the present. 

Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert