Can they be? Most certainly.

But things get more complicated since it comes with its unique challenges, and I’m not even speaking here of any potential sexual component. I’ll give you a few problems here, at least two of which don’t even involve any emotion or sentiment but are an issue of cold practicality.

For context, now I have precisely one out of four close friends who is a woman.

The first issue is the lurking potential for unrequited love. With any friend who is truly close to you, be they man or woman, you share a lot of your thoughts and feelings. You naturally like them very much. But with my male friends, there is no question that my affection for them no matter how deep, will ever grow to be romantic. That’s never the case with a woman who you are so close to, unless she is family.

And if that happens, there is a fair chance that she may not feel the same way about it.That’ll likely be the end of your friendship then. I think that at least some women who speak of a guy whom they swear is their chum, bestie and so on, might not realize that that man is romantically interested in them (not in a creepy fashion but sincerely).

The second issue as a guy is that having a female friend completely throws off the dynamic with the rest of your male friends, if you’re all in one place. It simply does. Because men will not speak as freely in the presence of a woman as they would just among themselves. I think the converse holds just as well. I’ve often been the only man in a room with five or six women (usually my sister’s friends when I’m visiting her). It’s awkward, I say hello, banter a bit with a couple of them but within minutes I’ll leave and go elsewhere.

Because I have no interest in hearing them speak about their crushes/boyfriends/kids and so on. Just as importantly, I don’t want to screw their group dynamic and have them feel that they can’t speak as openly as they otherwise would because there is a man in the room.

But it’s the third issue which is perhaps the biggest. It’s that your relationship with a close female friend goes into “freeze mode” when you’re dating another woman. With my close friend, she and I take vacations together just the two of us. There’s never been any sexual component involved. But whenever I’ve been dating another woman, she wouldn’t like for her boyfriend going on a vacation by himself with his close female friend. Several women would even have an issue with their partners hanging out just one-on-one with their close female friends. Made all the worse that my friend is clearly attractive. And men will understand that I can see how I might be uncomfortable if my girlfriend was having long talks, dinners, and all of that with her closest male friend.

But if I said that I wanted to meet up alone with one or more of my guy friends, there aren’t any issues, no suspicion of potential sexual/romantic complications (in my partner’s mind). I can hang out until late with them or even stay over at their place and the woman I’m dating wouldn’t have any reservations about it.

So, it is erroneous to say that being friends with a woman is just as easy as being friends with a man.

It isn’t.

It comes with a set of issues all of which aren’t some general problems that you might have with friends at large. No, these ones are specific to the fact that your friend is from the gender which you are attracted to.

Versuasion Pakistan -Fareeha Robert