Let’s face it, dating in today’s society is hard enough. You have to get past all the narcissist’s then come the energy vampires, and once you clear them you must weed out the liars and cheaters. In the midst of the selection process, you just may find that one person who makes life awesome. But what if they have a child or multiple children?

Here are a few things to think about that can help you decide if you are mature enough or ready to date someone with children.

1. Dating Someone with Kids Isn’t Impossible

First thing you need to understand is there is nothing wrong with dating a person or marrying someone with kids. Just because a person has kids does not mean they are off the market. The fact that there are children involved doesn’t change why you were attracted to them in the first place. The only thing that it changes is knowing this relationship will have more requirements. People in this situation can and do have success, and often end up in happy marriages. Dating a person with kids has a different set of challenges, but it’s not an impossible feat.

2. Know and Respect Your Limitations

From the beginning you need to know what your limits are especially those who aim to please people. If you are going to be an adult about this situation, you also have to protect yourself. Don’t feel like you have to chip in every time something needs to be done. Ask first and then act accordingly. Sometimes when a person is dating someone with kids they are too helpful. If you have good open communication, your partner will tell you when help is needed. On the same token, if you are asked to do something and you are uncomfortable do the task, speak up. Your partner will understand and appreciate your honesty. At the end of the day they need you to be up front and known that you won’t take on more than you can handle.

3. Honor the Children’s Feelings

Now, when dealing with the children of the relationship, things can get a bit weird. It takes kids a bit to warm up to new people, especially if they want mom and dad back together. Kids want to know that they can count on you, and that you will protect them. Once you show them this, things may start to get easier. It won’t be an easy road, but it’s worth it.

4. Give Yourself Time to Let Love Grow

Sometimes people wonder if they can truly care about kids that aren’t theirs. If you fall in this group don’t worry, you can. It may take some time to get to know each other, and understand each other, but that’s where the care and love come from. The little stuff is how your feelings grow. There is room in your heart if you have courage to allow people in. Kids aren’t scary, but if your partner sees that you are not careful with what they hold precious, the relationship won’t last. This doesn’t mean you can be fake; kids can spot a fake person blindfolded. If you aren’t genuine, you will be dismissed.

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