I don’t believe that some can command or demand respect. They can certainly try, but unless a person gives it to them, it a meaningless request. The same hold true with disrespect. No one can disrespect you, unless you give them permission, by reacting to it. I have had is talk a zillion time with emotionally disturbed students who often have issue around respect. They often want to fight someone who they feel has disrespected them or not give them the respect they think they deserve.

Demanding Respect vs Commanding Respect

I ask them to name the three most important people in their lives. They usually respond with Mom, Dad, Grandpa etc. etc. They never mention the person they are having a conflict with. I follow up with…”You just named for me the most important people in your life. Those people you should pay attention to. Why are you caring about someone’s opinion or thoughts that you don’t care about?” They usually and stop in their tracks for a moment. It that easy, don’t pay attention to people who don’t matter to you. You cannot be disrespected by someone you don’t care about.

Command Respect

You command respect by being a person of integrity. Your word is your bond. You deliver what you say you will. If someone tries to put you down, they are seen to be a liar, because no one can say a negative thing about you and make it stick; you have a good reputation. You can be a very humble person and still command respect.

Demanding Respect

Demanding respect is what people do when they cannot command respect; they want to be respected for things external to them like title, celebrity, money, or just because they are a pain in the butt, and can make themselves more so if you don’t give them what they want.

Some people are naturally respectful and will treat you respectfully unless you give them a reason to stop. Others may think you have to earn their respect to get it. While you can’t change other people’s beliefs about respect, you are 100% responsible for how you show yourself and what you inspire in others. Much can be learned from leaders who automatically command respect. They are not asking for it but they receive it.

Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert