However, remember that true forgiveness does require true repentance on the part of the person seeking forgiveness. If that person is not genuinely sorry for his/her actions, there is nothing to work with when it comes to forgiveness. Often times, in the case of very serious wrongs, repentance needs to be proven with action. The wrong doer needs to perform some sort of act that atones for the wrong and leaves no doubt as to the heart condition of the penitent.

Forgive over Forget

To stay forewarned is to mistrust the person seeking forgiveness. It is understandable why this can be difficult because once a trust has been betrayed, it’s very difficult to reestablish it. The wrong doer has already proven that they cannot be trusted. But, in the interest of seeking true peace, the person who suffered the injustice does indeed need to try to trust again.

However, if the wrong doer is genuinely sorrowful, s/he will not let it ever happen again and this will help lead to the reestablishment of trust.

The tricky situation of establishing trust

It’s a tricky situation. Every situation is different and only the one doing the forgiving can actually make the final call. In my own case, if I have wronged someone badly and I’m truly sorry for what I did, I would make my apologies in as sincere and humble a manner as possible. If my apologies were not accepted, I would still vow to myself to never let it happen again. Then I would allow time to take care of the rest. I would not bother the other party again. In time, if forgiveness was not forthcoming, I would not worry about it because I would feel safe and secure knowing that I did my best.

Everyone has their own fallacies

By the same token, there have been a number of times in my life where I was dealt some very malicious injustices by people who claimed to be my friends. But I reminded myself that I was no more perfect than they were and I had been guilty of stuff like that too. And so, that humility helped me get over it. I’ve often meditated on this at length and I can say with certainty that injustices never feel good. In fact, THEY HURT! But they never last and we can always move forward. And in the end, when time has had a chance to soften the hurt, we realize that we are really no worse for wear.

Team Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert