By overcoming loneliness, we merely stop being lonely. Purposeful solitude, on the other hand is how we gain strength.

Humans are social animals, quite simply, we are not meant to be alone, loneliness is a sign that we need more social connections, or we crave deeper or more specific connections. Although, loneliness is like any other type of suffering, painful; the more you endure pain, the better you are at coping with pain in general. You may gain some semblance of fortitude from prolonged pain, and gain an ego boost from this, but ultimately, you are likely to succumb to the human condition of needing others to feel content.

If you consciously decide that you want to be alone, even for a short period of time, you are granted opportunity to deliberate and contemplate on aspects of your psyche and character that can be improved. Consciously consider your thoughts and behaviours then how you would prefer to think and behave, then slowly put that into action.

Spend your lonely time voraciously reading and shredding your own ego, considering where your personality fits within the world and where you want it to fit. Consciously decide who you want to become then decide on a plan to become that person. Focus on the pain of being lonely only when it does not consume you, otherwise engage in activities that improve your own well being like reading or working out.

Find the courage to put the hard work in. Reach down and use the anger and frustration you have built from being lonely to propel yourself forwards. I can’t emphasise enough how important reading is: build up enough knowledge and you become free to control your own fate. Once you have enough knowledge, slowly reach into the world and use that knowledge. Use your courage to fail and learn from those mistakes and keep on failing and learning.

Eventually, with enough knowledge, experience and courage, you can achieve anything you desire. Loneliness is nothing but suffering, solitude on the other hand can be used to propel you to great heights, you simply have to be willing to face the hard truths that you discover.

As this one sat here and now one never feels lonely or alone but gives gratitude for the solitude. So to perhaps not view it as loneliness but an opportunity of the solitude and to still ones self to allow one to meet the inner one. To grow from within those traits that you mention by feeling, hearing, acknowledging and accepting all those uncomfortable things within that may arise. By feeling the one within is to not to be alone but to be at peace with ones own company.

That is, being true to yourself, being capable of independent thought, knowing your own loves and being able to pursue them independently of others’ judgments is not the same as isolating yourself from society. Learning and appreciating your own character strengths is very important in being able to support yourself as you go through life. When we can accept ourselves as unique and practice non-judgment, we can find security from inner sources. This rational, independent thinking is something we’ve already touched on. As children, we learn to look to others for guidance when solving problems or making decisions. The tendency becomes ingrained within us, and as adults, we aren’t always capable of handling adversity in a way that we feel sure about. Have confidence in your own capabilities and it becomes a lot easier to find security within.

Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert