Whether or not marriage is worthwhile entirely depends on what you expect from marriage. What do you consider a successful marriage? An emotionally fulfilling partnership? A financially successful one? One that literally does last until death, as the vows often say?

The Concept of Success and Failure

The concept of success and failure is relative. An unmarried person might view a divorcee as a failure because the person’s marriage ended prematurely, but a divorcee may view separation from an unhappy marriage to be a success. The increase in failure rates are more about people being more free from social and financial pressure to stay together against their will and better judgment.

The Concept of Traditional Marriage Mindset

Marriage and the concept of the traditional family is changing, and generations that are in transition are struggling with that. Whereas marriage was once a necessity for physical survival, then financial and social survival, it is becoming less and less so. This means women, for example, who 50 years ago may have been unhappy but felt compelled to stay with their husbands because they did not work and were therefore financially dependent, are today more likes to have jobs and freedom to separate. Failed marriages today are in part a reflection of people who do not feel pressure to stay in marriages that aren’t working, and in part a consequence of people who married because it was expected of them.

Have the Open Mind?

And since marriage is no longer NECESSARY, people would do well to exercise their freedom NOT to marry if they don’t want to, or if they don’t find a person they feel compelled to wed. But people who WANT to marry may find marriage even more worthwhile than ever, because it is a choice, not an obligation or a trap. Fear of failure is hardly a reason for anyone who wants to get married to not get married—it’s like avoiding cars because you fear accidents, with less dangerous consequences. Many marriages are totally great, so what if not all of them make it?

We are still a ways off from this sort of open minded thinking. Most people still think it odd when older people are single or decide not to have children, or when single people have children alone by choice. But while it’s tempting to see ended marriages as life failures and as discouragement even trying, but the truth is many people would still find marriage fulfilling despite the failure risk.

Team Versuasion Pakistan – Fareeha Robert