There are obviously circumstances where it simply makes sense, but for the most part, I think it’s best to wait until both people are in a stable and settling stage in their lives. Some are ahead of schedule; others don’t discover that kind of security until they’ve hit their 30s. I talked to a few older women about the benefits of getting hitched in this decade, and here are the good things they had to say:

1. In your 30s, you’ve dated a lot, so you know exactly what you want from a partner and exactly what you don’t. When you meet someone, you know right away if you’re compatible.
2. Your wedding will probably have more of your friends than your parents’ friends.
3. You have done a lot of growing (and sowing your wild oats) already, so you don’t feel like you missed out.
4. You can have a relaxing spa weekend bachelorette (where everyone goes to bed after a late dinner and wine!) because your friends are either pregnant or have kids, so no one wants to go clubbing.
5. Humans live a lot longer now, so when you get married later, the rest of your life is still a freakishly long time to be with someone.
6. You’ve had time to figure out who you are as a grown-ass adult and choose a partner who makes sense with who you have become. This person also wants the same goals.
7. After partying and socializing in your 20s, you definitely appreciate quiet, married nights in.
8. You are more successful and further along in your career, so you can actually pay for all of if not part of your wedding — instead of relying on Mom and Dad.
9. You are sexually confident and know how to ask for what you want.
10. You’ve seen all of the mistakes your friends made (teal bridesmaids dresses? Seriously?) so you won’t make them, too.
11. If you throw a destination wedding, your 30-something-year-old friends can actually afford to go.
12. You already have a lot of kitchen and home goods, so you can register for more fun things.
13. You have had more time to travel.
14. When you marry in your 30s, you feel very independent, and you have a great bond with your partner because you don’t necessarily rely on each other for social circles.
15. You know who you are, and you don’t have to pretend to like bands you don’t or do things you don’t want to. You’re both comfortable in who you are.
16. Overall, it’s best to wait until you’ve fully discovered yourself.

Women should be allowed to let life and experiences shape their personalities before they enter a union with another person. We should be given the time to put our careers and personal development first, because no matter what anyone says, marriage is hard. It takes time, effort, patience, maturity, and work. And most women will be glad they developed self-confidence, assertiveness, and the ability to work with others before they joined their lives with someone else’s.

Versuade Pakistan – Fareeha Robert