This can be an empowering moment. The secrecy around infertility can increase your sense of shame and outsider status. Speaking up about infertility can help you show shame the door and give you people to lean on when you need support.

Consider Your Partner’s Feelings

Unless you’re a single woman trying to conceive, you likely have a partner who is also facing infertility with you. They may or may not be ready to come out when you are. You may be able to agree on a limited number of people you can come out to. Or maybe he or she prefers you share limited information when you do talk about your infertility.

Remember You Don’t Have to Come Out on Every Detail

When you tell people you’re dealing with infertility, expect some to start asking you way too personal questions. You don’t have to share why you’re struggling. You don’t have to share every detail of your family building plans. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. Telling people, you’re going through infertility is not an invitation into your personal medical records and life history. Even though some people may act like it is.

Think Twice About Sharing with Close Friends and Family

Coming out to your friends and family doesn’t mean you should or need to share an anonymous blog with them. Now, this is just my opinion. Maybe sharing your blog with friends and family is exactly what you’d like to do. Maybe you reserve venting for forums or in-person conversations.

But it is something to consider carefully.

Choose an Appropriate Time and Place

Also, be prepared that whenever you share, the people present will probably want to ask you questions or fish for more details. Make sure you’re in a place where you’ll feel comfortable sharing or setting boundaries on what you’d rather not share. And make sure there will be time for thoughtful conversation.

Social Media May or May Not Be the Best Way to Share

Social media may be a good way to come out to a large group of your connections, but not the best way to come out to close friends and family. For one, they may not see your post. Facebook doesn’t show every post to every one of your friends, and this isn’t one you want them to miss. Second, you may not want your entire social network to know – especially if your social network includes co-workers or your boss.

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