“Shadi arrange ho ya Love, Shadi Shadi hoti hai.”

As a girl born and raised in Pakistan, the concept of falling in love and getting married to a person of your choice is considered a bit odd. No one can guarantee happiness either in love marriage or in arrange marriage.

But the concept of getting married to a stranger is horrible, right? Yes, it is. In Pakistan, when a girl reached to marriable age, both relative and parents’ breath down her neck to get married. It is not about getting married to a stranger, but the real game of proceeding to a arrange marriage.

The Rishta Tamasha!

Here in Pakistan, arrange marriages settled in a way where parents ask Matrimonial offices to get a suitable proposal for their daughter or son. You know what is next, they take your biodata, pictures, and other related information, circulate to countless people, to be started and judge it.

Rishte Wale Dekhne arahe hain:

The real trauma of presenting food towards them so they can judge you physically, emotionally, and some other qualities. Give you a rejection call with words,

“Larke ki maa bohat taiz hai, Baki sub toh thek tha per larki ki naak pakora hai… larki zayada parhi likhi hai and rejection calls goes on. Class and Caste is another big issue.”

There are some rejection calls, like:

Is a girl five feet two? Too short. Baji koi lambi larki dekain.

Is a boy teacher in school? A big NO. My daughter will face a lot of financial issues.

Some girls got rejected because of the idea of working after marriage, irony?

Now, the high demand for their son, “Doctor Bahu Chayie for a secondary pass boy.”

Can you imagine, the idea of being in arrange marriage is not horrible, but the process is. If you got an acceptance from a family, there are still a lot of things to considered. The process does not stop here,

The demand phase:

“Haq Mehr mein kiya likh ke dain gain, humain bachi ki security chayie”

“Rishta toh hum krlain gain, but there must be a car and furnished house in the dowry.”

Another big thing:

There are some odd marriages where both individuals are not ready to be in a relationship, but forcefully they have to accept the reality. You call this phase a big disaster. 

But,

Almost 85% of the people believe in arrange marriages because of fewer divorce rates. But it feels the path to happiness is like a bed of nails. You have to wait with patience and work hard, putting yourself in utter discomfort.

Ah, arrange marriages. You can love them, dependent upon the man you are going to marry. The new phase is exciting, but it is scary as well. Some liberal families give complete freedom to their kids. But most of them believe their parents’ decision would be a favourable one because they know who is better for me.

I think there is no fixed formula; what is meant to happen will happen—no matter what you do.