Are you in your 20s? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children — especially if you’re a female entrepreneur?

It makes sense, right? This is the only time in your life when you have no ties, no mortgage, and no kids to support. This is the only time you can really do something ambitious. And let’s face it, you’re not ready, anyway. You’re busy building your company, figuring out who you are, what you want.

With the express purpose of building something. This is a noble cause. There is nothing more professionally satisfying as building something. Something you love. Something you can “get behind.” But…there was this girl. This guy.

You’re busy. You have more important things to do. Changing the world is a full-time job and if you don’t do it now, when will you?

I’ll wager that there is something about big transient cities that distorts everyone’s sense of time. You become convinced that you have time for everything you find challenging, that your ultimate horizon is infinite. This is only the beginning for you. But you don’t know how much time you have. And even if things go well for you, your time is finite. You can’t figure out your professional life now and your personal life later.

Because in a few years, however young you think you are (how old is 30, really?), you will be approaching midlife and you won’t be as adaptable as you once were. There are reasons for this, many of which are biological. Your body won’t respond the same way. You’ll have knee problems that didn’t exist when you were running sophomore track. You can’t stay out till 4am anymore.

But that is not the point. The point is that 30 (or 32 or 35) is not the age when you want to start trying serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You must get beyond the basics — the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You must figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts.

I’m not suggesting, mind you, that you settle down in your 20s. I don’t envision you in a ranch home in the suburbs at 26, feeding your toddlers Cheerios and pureed organic carrots, and carting them to and from soccer practice in the family. I’m just saying that it’s worth it to look at your romantic relationships nakedly. Work at a relationship the way you work at your work. Spend the time. Make the effort.

I think it’s fair to say — with no scientific evidence — that deathbed wishes rarely include, “If only I had put another 20 hours a week in at the office!” But that guy, that girl? You might regret that.

Versuade Pakistan – Fareeha Robert